A Thank You Letter To My Mom

Dear Mumma,

Thank you for struggling

With the knots in my hair

At 5 am every morning

For teaching me

Who to love

And how to love

Thank you for loving me

Even when I made it so incredibly hard to

Thank you for letting me fight my own battles

But also for building me

The strongest armour

With your own hands

Thank you for loving my first boyfriend

Like he was your own son

But also for hating him,

Whenever I did,

No questions asked

Thank you for having the best sense of humour,

And for swearing in front of me,

But most importantly for having the same shoe size as me

Thank you for working extra hours

And still cooking extra rotis

When you came back home

Just so I didn’t go to bed hungry

Thank you for letting life bring me down

And for letting me get back up

On my own

Thank you being my mother

And my father

And my sister

And my best friend

And everything else I ever needed you to be

Thank you for fighting with me

And not letting me win

For arguing with me

When we didn’t even know what we were arguing about

Thank you for all those conversations

We had in the parking lot

Thank you for letting me

Be myself

And love myself

in a world where not everyone does

Thank you for letting me leave home

When I was ready to

I didn’t even ask you

If you were ready

Thank you for being the best

And doing the best

You possibly could

And I am sorry

That I am not more like you

I am sorry for not having a heart size

As big as yours

I am sorry

For not always being everything

you needed me to be

I am sorry

You had to struggle with

All the knots in my mind

At 2 am every night